Sometimes I wonder if I am so into BTS that it is affecting me so badly. And sometimes I wonder if I am the only person out there who experience this. Hopefully not.

I'm not sure if all of you guys received the 'Love Yourself' albums yet but mine came today and I was just reading the 'Thanks to' section. And Jin's Thanks To actually made me cry. It was not like a very significant sentence if you just read it like this but it gave me such a huge impact.

In his final paragraph, he wrote that he prays for armies everyday, wishing that we will always be happy and that good things will happen to us. For reason, I suddenly got emotional when I read that sentence and the next moment I was crying.

Yes, I feel that its very exhausting and tiring now which made me feel that I depend even more on BTS. Idol-fan relationship is really strange huh? Somehow I wonder what would I be doing now if I had not become a fan of BTS. Just like 'Piped Piper', its amazing how accurate they describe the situation of armies. You can't help but get hooked to them. You just want to check twitter constantly, daum cafe, watch their mvs and listen to their songs etc. Our parents or friends may think that we are overreacting and stuff but we just can't help it. Its pure dedication and it definitely came from our sincere heart.

Honestly I feel that I have no luck when it comes to ticketing for pre recordings and sadly to say, I failed for 3 round already and it really kills me when you see people you follow on people get into pre-recording. It's the same for fansigns. I'm pretty sure these days you need at least a minimum of 200 albums before you get into fansigns. And I'm not sure why is there a prejudice against foreign names?? I heard that you need twice the amount as compared to Koreans before you even stand a chance in getting into fansign. Despite that having set, I am still just going to try my luck to get into fansigns even though I can only purchase perhaps another set more.

Just like what 'Sea' has in the lyrics, '희망이 있는 곳에 반드시 시련이 있네'. Im going to stay positive although I know my probability of getting in that fansign is maybe 0.0001%? Hahahaha. Then again there is THAT possibility so not all hope is lost. It may sound delusional as of now but I always believe in the fact that unless you try, you never know. You really do not know what will happen and there is always this hope which you can depend on. And if you don't get chosen again, hey, at least you know you tried. And you just helped the boys increase their album sales. I believe it's all about perspectives and you have to trust yourself that you are doing the right thing.

No matter how much money you have, it doesn't matter as long as you love the boys truly. I feel that yes, it is sad that I'm a poor undergraduate in her final semester of university and I don't have the money to spend on 200 albums, I still do what I can do to support the boys. Melon streaming, youtube mv looping, spotify looping etc. Just do what you can do to help the boys. And things like voting too. It just takes a small percentage of your phone space to download apps to vote for the boys. It's not difficult. It just shows how much you are willing to support the boys, how much you are going to go for the boys. And please don't let what other people think pull you down.

Sometimes I get judged for supporting the boys. Yet I feel that I have the ability and I am not afraid to show the love I have for the boys. I mean, if you really love somebody, I am pretty sure you will go all the way for them right? So what's wrong with the idols? Hahaha..

Alright, this seems to get off track on what I originally planned I writing but I hope at least I made my point. I always get inspired by BTS and I feel like thats what I am living off from them now. They make me feel happier and gave me a new perspective about life. They will and continue will.

Love myself.
Love yourself.